addiction · Alcoholism · getting sober · Middle Class Britain · Neighbours · Teenagers · Uncategorized

How to Upset the Neighbours

How to upset the neighbours…

So we, my slightly insane crowd of special people (and the rabbit), moved in to our middle class house on our very quiet middle class street 6 months ago.

Until recently I thought I was pretty middle class so I’d fit right in, I have a barbeque after all so I must be. In fact I googled it! I have a smart TV, a Dyson hoover thing, some vinyl (but no record player, the ex-husband has that), an IMac, Samsonite AND Antler luggage (only one is stipulated on the list of things that makes one middle class). I have at least 2 sets of matching coasters and a Mulberry bag. So there you have it, I MUST be middle class…

It was all going swimmingly well with the neighbours when we first moved in, they were super friendly, anything they can do to help, there were bin collection day timetables posted through the letter box, sweet conversations about how to prune the apparently rare apple tree in the back garden, I even got a card and a kiss on the cheek at Christmas. Through January and February though it all got a bit frosty. Not so middle class anymore, a bit trailer trash instead I’d say. I think they could have coped with my not very middle class looking front garden, and I have to say it is a front garden disaster, a disaster that will be dealt with when it’s not bloody raining. It’s the noise that comes out of my house that is more trailer trash than middle-class. It’s impossible to be middle-class or even slightly civilized with a teenage boy and an alcoholic bf in the house (or face planted in the front garden at 1am for that matter) the shouting is astonishing. The teenager is shouting, stamping around the house, the ubiquitous teenage, and extremely loud door slamming. The bf is shouting, mostly at the shouting teenager, or he is pissed, throwing stones at my bedroom window because he has forgotten his keys again. If it wakes me up, it wakes them up. Where did my middle class ‘I must talk things through rationally and with respect’ attitude go? I must find it again and quickly because all this shouting is bringing my house into disrepute and I am no longer as middle-class as I thought I was. It is written all over the neighbours faces. My declining status as middle class in this very quite neighbourhood is either a result of the noisiness of my special people or it’s the Mulberry bags, have the neighbours worked out that I have a load of fake ones?

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