One night in Bangkok, when the world was my oyster, and the bars had been temples for the evening, a little tween-age angel slid up to me via a text message.
The text messages were photos of extremely cute rabbits and then the killer question ‘Can we get one please?’
ABF and I had been in the ‘temples’ all evening and the tough guy tumbled… ‘Go on he said, let her get a rabbit’. And so the fatal response was sent over the airwaves, telephone, fibre optic, broadband, internet, however it gets to where it’s going…’Yes Darling, of course we can get a rabbit’.
What I thankfully didn’t say out loud was ‘you can actually have anything you want if it makes it easier for you to deal with moving to a country that you think is home but you have never actually lived in. You can have anything you want if it makes it easier to deal with having your life turned upside down and inside out again, leaving all of your friends, your school, your house and everything you know, again. You can have anything you want if it makes it easier to deal with living on the other side of the world to the Dad you adore but who I am in the process of divorcing.’ No, that would have been a bad thing to admit to a 9 year old but it is an emotional I have felt many times when uprooting the kids from the life they love to a new, uncertain one. It is one of the perils of being and expat.
And so a few weeks after we had moved into our house we went rabbit shopping and came home with Mr. Rabbit. He is gorgeous, cute, clever and has become a much-loved member of our family. The only problem is he eats the walls…He hops around the house eating the walls, pulling the wallpaper off the walls, eating that and now he has started on the furniture.
I am not very happy about it and nor is ABF, because he is the one who will have to do the fixing of the rabbit house demolition. Tween-ager decides to do some Internet research into how to stop the rabbit eating the house. Genius plan – get Mr. Rabbit a friend, so he won’t be so bored and he will stop eating the house. Mmmmmm, I am not sure about this plan…how about we keep the rabbit from running around the house and restrict his movements to rooms where we have rabbit proofed the walls instead?
Cue Internet assault from Tween-Ager… The Rabbit now has an Instagram account. He posts a lot of ‘selfies’, him sitting around in the kitchen, in the living room, maybe licking himself. He has posted a portrait of himself that he sat for and a meme of what happens when you insult a rabbit, that kind of stuff. Like I said, he is a very clever rabbit! This morning he posted a very sad looking photo of himself with a comment about how having his movement around the house restricted is making him really sad. So I responded to poor Mr. Rabbit with a suggestion that maybe if he stopped eating the walls and furniture we could reconsider our position on his freedom to roam the house. His response – I’m just bored and need something to stop my boredom!
I am being emotionally blackmailed by an instagramming rabbit, or is it a very clever persuasion technique employed by Tween-ager? Whichever, that answer is NO to another house eating rabbit. One is ENOUGH…